The Diary of an (Ambitious?) College Applicant- Part 1

Writer’s BLOCK

350 words on a Microsoft WORD roughly add up to 15 kb. I have 231 KB worth of words in my “college essay” folder. *opens up calculator on computer. Reminisces about the time when computers were just calculating machines. * 231KB is roughly 5390 words. In the past 5 days, I typed in almost FIVE AND A HALF THOUSAND WORDS worth of college essay. And the best part? THE BEST PART?

I am only halfway there.

No I’m not halfway there to college. I’m only halfway there in completing my applications and the dreaded 11 letter word: “supplements”.

This time of year is perhaps the most bitchy for a college applicant i.e. a senior.  (And our entire year is TRES bitchy.) We’re running out of SAT test dates. We have school exams to keep up with. But America takes the heat off by giving us a deadline date that’s laid back. A deadline that encourages laziness and chill mahols. A deadline that is truly American in that respect.

So what’s the problem then? I should finish up with exams and stuff and then dedicate December to apps. The answer to why I cannot do that is also the reason why I frantically conjured up 5-and-a-half thousand words in a space of 4 days (yes I just realized I didn’t do anything on Friday).

My school. I can’t elaborate on that. It’s just that my school has this British (we’re British and very hoity toity you see) knack of Britta-ing everything up. In conclusion, we have an internal deadline that expired on Wednesday. Yes I used the present tense on purpose. I repeat. We HAVE an internal deadline which expired on Wednesday. If, by some miracle, you the reader understand this paradoxical statement, you will understand how things work at AITCHISON COLLEGE.

The unclear implementation of the deadline is one thing. But the deadline’s existence does not make any sense to anyone. All it seems to do is take away 30 valuable days. 30 valuable College supplement writing days. And that internal deadline took those days from us. Yet we still have them days. Paradoxical statement-understanding = Aitchison College-understanding.

So, today, on Saturday, after 3 full days of no writing (just remembered. Didn’t do anything on Thursday either), I finally made the call. Made it official. I have a writer’s block. I can’t write anymore. I’m absolutely stumped. I have lost all creativity. I can’t impress myself with my words (that’s how I judge my good writing from my garbage writing).

Add that to the constant paranoia that I have regarding the quality of my already written words. What if tomorrow I wake up and realize those 5500 words are all garbage. What then?

And I have important SATs on Saturday. AMI BACHAAAYEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I thought about blogging about it. In fact why don’t I just blog about my entire journey to college? Hence: The diary of an (ambitious?) college applicant.

You’re probably wondering how I could write this blog post in the middle of a writer’s block. I could point the finger at Ayla. She wrote this. But she didn’t. Here’s the FULL equation that I alluded to before:

Paradoxical statement-understanding = Aitchison College-understanding = Understanding me!

(Understanding me! = Understanding me X Understanding m X Understanding  X Understanding X Understandin X Understandi X Understand X Understan X Understa X Underst X Unders X Under X Unde X Und X Un X U)

Sorry Ayla. Could not resist the Math joke. Even though you said it was lame.

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