The Diary Of An (Ambitious?) College Applicant-Part 4

The nightmare.

“What? One letter? All Six of them on the same letter? How the hell?”

Then I woke up. Reality check. It isn’t April. Calm down.

*Sense-making starts now*

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream that I had been rejected from all 6 Ivy League colleges that I had applied to. I got the news in one e-mail.  Doesn’t make any sense. Then again, most dreams don’t. I also have a vague memory that, in the dream, I had been rejected from all but 1 college to which I had applied. My subconscious is going crazy.

I don’t have to face any of this till April, when colleges deliver their verdicts to applicants. And I’m pretty calm these days, at least when awake. As long as I can keep the crazy to my dreams, till April, I’ll be ok.

Still, I needed to give myself something to hold onto. Being rejected from that many places in one dream does things to a person. So, inspired by that day’s Math class, I decided to calculate the expected number of Ivy’s I’ll get into.

*Stats lecture starts now. But even if that’s not your thing, please read on*

My data:

 6. The number of Ivy League Colleges I applied to (Dartmouth Cornell miss hain. They can’t even count 4 properly).

9. The average acceptance rate of an Ivy League college. I was at school so I had to estimate, but I don’t think the actual number would be much higher. (I made the convenient assumption that I was an average student, even though in reality, acceptances rate vary drastically with external factors such as nationality and financial aid options)

So, using the expectation formula used in probability distribution charts, I determined that the grand total of Ivy’s I can expect to get into is:

0.38

Yes. 0.38. This is obviously a very raw figure and is as accurate as it is re-assuring. But it’s something. Different ways of translating this figure:

1. If I were applying to 18 Ivy’s, I could expect to get into 1.15.
2. If I apply to these 6 Ivy’s 3 years in a row, I could expect to get into 1.15 colleges.
3. If I get into 1, I should consider myself lucky because the average student tends to get rejected from all 6.

Obviously I’d consider myself lucky anyway, but even my most modest self knows that I’m better than the average student. But then again I’m Pakistani. In conclusion, I know my chances of getting into an Ivy are much greater than 0.38. Perhaps even greater than 0.39.

College verdicts + Nightmares + Statistics = I’m going crazy

 10 weeks to April the 1^st. Keep Holding on.

The Diary of a Not-So-Senior Senior

Catch a Falling Star*

I’ve decided to introduce a series into my “diary” entries. I read a lot of books, about any and every thing. I read too much – yes, there is such a thing as reading too much. I lose focus of everything else, and just read. This has resulted in bad grades because I didn’t study for my exams, being called anti-social because I choose to spend my free time reading, not partying, like some people I associate myself with, etc. But none of that matters to me, and the reason why is a whole other story; one of my many idiosyncracies, philosophies, what have you. Coming back to the point: this “series” will be posts which begin with an excerpt from a book I have read (or have been reading), which has meant something to me, or is something I wish the rest of the world would read, but since everyone has different tastes in literature, and unfortunately, some people don’t read at all, I haven’t been able to expose the world to it yet. Then I shall go on to explain what I liked about it, why it left an impression on me, what impression it left – you get my drift – if I can find the words to explain how I feel.  

Today’s excerpt is from a book called ‘The Book of Qualities’, by J. Ruth Gendler. “An insightful exploration of the rich diversity of human qualities… In portraying the complexities of the psyche, Gendler uses the Qualities to bridge the distinctions between literature and psychology, and has created an original work that challenges us to look at our emotions in new and inspiring ways.” The Quality I have chosen to quote and write about is:

Inspiration

Inspiration is disturbing. She does not believe in guarantees or insurance or strict schedules. She is not interested in how well you write your grant proposal or what you do for a living or why you are too busy to see her. She will be there when you need her but you have to take it on trust. Surrender. She knows when you need her better than you do.

I found my inspiration to write this post from a chapter (if you can call it that) called Inspiration. Isn’t it ironic? But it makes perfect sense, also. If I could, I would have quoted the whole book here. The right feelings won’t come through without some more, but this will have to do, for now.

As for this excerpt, thought- provoking, eh? Thinking of inspiration as a person, you really start to think differently. It made me realize that yes, inspiration doesn’t care who you are, what you do, etc. Inspiration will come to you at any time, whether you’re looking for it, or not. It’ll come to you whether you’re a penniless, homeless child, or the parents of a sick child, or the heir to the British throne, or a normal, everyday Joe, in the middle of a normal workday. And what you make of the inspiration is what makes or breaks you. Its so simple, yet takes so long to figure out; the beauty of the unknown, and your inspiration is your guiding light.

 For those of you who are enchanted by this and are curious to read more, GO OUT AND BUY THE BOOK. It is most definitely worth it. I like to read a few pages of this book when up late at night, early in the morning, when the outside world is quiet and peacefully asleep, and I feel as though turning the television on will end the tranquility of the moment. It’s one of those books which makes you stop and think about what you’re reading, and so I find that reading a few pages at a time makes it easier to really appreciate the way in which something so ordinary, something you don’t really give much thought too, in your daily lives, has been presented, simply in order to make you better able to understand youself. That’s basically how this work of genius makes me feel.

*The name of this post came from a weird line of thought. Thinking of the time of night when I read this book led to thinking of mystical happenings, which then led to thoughts of the stars and how amazing the night sky is, and my awe at space and how light-years work, and then that random song they sing in Princess Diaries, if I remember correctly, “Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket…”